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drunkdilf:

bread is so fucking good man I could prob eat an entire bakery in 25 minutes or less 

neptunain:

my only issue with the purge movies is that there aren’t more people just doing petty crimes like vandalism, disturbing the peace, openly selling illegal drugs, etc. I mean if the purge was a real thing i would have the loudest, wildest party ever with liberal underage drinking because i know the stupid fcuking neighbors wouldn’t be able to call the cops. because guess what? there are no cops tonight

zabuza:

when kids stare at you for a long time

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africancheewahwah:

The fact that most guys’ first response to a woman wanting equality is “SO CAN I HIT U NOW” is sort of terrifying
Like that’s the first thing you’re concerned about? I just want equal pay and you want to punch me in the face? Cool cool


>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”>my face when Americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie”>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun” >my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”

>my face when Americans call chips “french fries”
>my face when Americans call crisps “chips”
>my face when Americans call lifts “elevators”
>my face when Americans call chocolate globbernaughts “candy bars”
>my face when Americans call merry fizzlebombs “fireworks”
>my face when Americans call wunderbahboxes a “computer”
>my face when Americans call meat water “gravy”
>my face when Americans call electro-rope “power cables”
>my face when Americans call beef wellington ensemble with lettuce a “burger”
>my face when Americans call whimsy flimsy mark and scribblies “pens”
>my face when Americans call twisting plankhandles “doorknobs”
>my face when Americans call breaddystack a “sandwich”
>my face when Americans call their hoghity toghity tippy typers “keyboards”
>my face when Americans call nutty-gum and fruit spleggings “PB&J”
>my face when Americans call an upsy stairsy an “escalator”
>my face when Americans call a knittedy wittedy sheepity sleepity a “sweater”
>my face when Americans call a rickity-pop a “gear shift”
>my face when Americans call a choco chip bucky wicky a “cookie”
>my face when Americans call peepee friction pleasure “sex”
>my face when Americans call a pip pip gollywock a “screwdriver”
>my face when Americans call a rooty tooty point-n-shooty a “gun” 
>my face when Americans call ceiling-bright a “lightbulb”
>my face when Americans call blimpy bounce bounce a “ball”
>my face when Americans call a slippery dippery long reppy a “snake”
>my face when Americans call cobble-stone-clippity-clops “roads”

guy:

it’s 2014 and having a valid and logical argument with your parents is still “talking back”

hotboysofficial:

how to subtly approach your crush

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Science side of tumblr why am i not getting head right now